Communication Broken-Down

Communication is the key to health in any relationship. And being honest to oneself (just being oneself) is what makes a mode of communication function in a relationship. Despite our best efforts to communicate effectively and honestly, however, we may discover that our communication styles differ and our expectations of the other person's communication style may lead us to path of disappointment and/or resentment and/or (enter some other negative to a relationship in this space).

Still, it is worth reflecting upon and asking ourselves as well as our partner (whom clearly we love dearly to undertake such a process of self-evaluation),

"What is our personal communication style, and our preferred style of communicating with others...?"

These past few days, the conversations I have encountered with you Oscar has made me ask this very question of myself. In the efforts to just be me and continue to facilitate the healthy conversations we have been having, I have been asking myself, "how do I communicate - and what is effective?" I hear you when you tell me that I am able to communicate to you, and I am aware of your ability to reach me in a way no one before you has proven capable.

And my brief exploration... has provided me with this conclusion (thus far):-

I love you, and I am consciously aware that you love me. There is no doubt that what is said is for either our own personal benefit or for the other's benefit - more importantly, it is for the benefit of our relationship. Our ability to articulate what is true to us, regardless of how frightening it can be (fears of rejection, overexposure, misunderstanding, etc.), only provides us with the opportunity to reassure ourselves that we do indeed have nothing to fear. You step in to inform me, provide me objective/subjective perspectives that prove always enlightening (even if I may not agree with them), and reassure me when necessary. Furthermore, your willingness to share of yourself - scars and all - allows me the space to share myself with you. We allow our guards to be down, and reciprocate by being considerate with our words. Still, the truth is not minced and honesty not spared. It is incredibly refreshing, even if at times, frustrating.

As my promise (both to myself and to you) on your birthday, I will just be myself and speak what is true to me. I will, at times, stumble at this task - but I intend to go where I have never been before... a place without fear.

XoXo muppet.

An example:-
Asking and Guessing represent a continuum of how people think to communicate with others – it’s about what we expect to say, and what we want left unsaid. Understanding where your significant other falls on this continuum – and how far that is from you – will help you understand why they communicate the way they do, and how you two can communicate better in the future.

Counting Down the Days

I'll Be

Sayang,

It is funny how for someone who can be so articulate with her thoughts and feelings, I feel so lost. I cannot begin to find the words, and so, I stumble and trip over myself.

Still, I will attempt...

I have never known a love like the one you show and give me - a genuine warmth willing to bear all without judgment. The time I spend with you, I feel like I never have - complete, full and true. It makes those moments in time away from you hard to bear - knowing that I have you in my life, though, gives me faith. For so long, I have known that I just needed to feel accepted, and now that I have found that with you - it makes me incredibly happy. You make me happy. I want nothing more than to have you to hold, because right now, it will make it all complete.

As you sit with me, you see a person - once broken almost done putting herself together, and still finding pieces. There are a parts of me I have never shown so truely of myself that sometimes it even scares me to see it. I can only ask for you to continue to show me the limitless patience you have already provided as I learn to share with you these pieces. And, it is getting easier - as I see myself through your eyes - I know there is nothing to fear.

"I'm yours." I don't plan on going anywhere. I want you here "in front of" me always.

And if my words fail me, I hope to show you in action that I am here - wanting to love you and be loved by you.

 

K.